its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
