I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
