At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
