Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
