google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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