I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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