also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
