God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize