im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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