The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
