So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we're making bets on your personal life
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
