By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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