Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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