Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
