You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
