glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
