that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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