I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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