roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
