Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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