k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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