You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
