i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
