I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i may or may not be watching the land before time
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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