We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
