spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
