I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
