One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
When are your genitals available?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
