Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
