So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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