Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
