Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
