i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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