I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
