why didn't you poke me back
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
