Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
