even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
