I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
