Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
