I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
