make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
