so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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