I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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