before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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