her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
