i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
