So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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