i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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