shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
two words...techno handjob
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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