the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
