someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
