I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
one might say we're banned from that church
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
