no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
