it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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