I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
false alarm. still invincible.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
