I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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